You didn’t have to attend a religious school to have had the Ten Commandments impressed upon you. Except for maybe a couple, the Commandments offer some useful rules to live by (note the stranded preposition), whether or not you’re religious. There’s not killing, not stealing, not having sex with your hot neighbor while your significant other is working late. Stuff like that. But do you remember the 11^th Commandment? It’s not “Love your neighbor as yourself” (which, come to think of it, sounds like a potential violation of the third commandment mentioned above). No, the 11^th Commandment instructs us not to end a sentence with a preposition.

According to Wikipedia, the Talmud of the Internet, the 11^th Commandment states: “You can write in whatever funky-ass manner you like, but you shall not end a sentence with a preposition. Period. And we mean business.”

So what’s the big deal? Why is it so wrong to close a sentence with a preposition? Oh, I’m sorry; did I say it was wrong? I don’t believe I did. Confused? Good. That’s what I’m here … ahem … for. Brand me a blasphemer, but I’m calling horse manure on this whole never-ever-end-a-sentence-with-a-preposition nonsense.

First of all, let’s identify this “scourge” of English grammar by its proper term: a stranded preposition. A stranded preposition occurs when a word such as at, to, for, from, in, out, of, with, et al., appears after, not before, the word it modifies (at the end of a clause or sentence). In other words, the orphaned preposition has been separated from its object and left to find its way back through a terrifying funhouse of words. Poor little buddy.

Behold examples of the stranded preposition:

• My appalling body odor is something I must deal with.
• Where do Rocky Mountain oysters come from?
• As his brain was severely impaired from a 20-year habit of huffing inhalants, Jerry Lee couldn’t remember all the local gas stations he was banned from.
• By hurling themselves into Boston Harbor, the Tea Party finally gave the American public what it had longed for.

We usually maroon prepositions when using relative clauses, posing a question (a.k.a. wh-fronting, which means moving a wh-word like what, where, or who to the front of a sentence), omitting a word (e.g., I don’t want to [do that]), or employing a phrasal verb (e.g., believe in). In most cases, you can fix a stranded preposition by moving it before the word it modifies (essentially, pre-positioning it) or rearranging the sentence. Here again are those four example sentences, but with a little body modification:

• My appalling body odor is something with which I must deal. (The preposition with modifies the relative pronoun which.)
• From where do Rocky Mountain oysters come? (The preposition from modifies the noun where)
• As his brain was severely impaired from a 20-year habit of huffing inhalants, Jerry Lee couldn’t remember all the local gas stations from which he was banned. (The preposition from modifies the relative pronoun which.)
• By hurling themselves into Boston Harbor, the Tea Party finally gave the American public that for what it had longed. (In this example, the preposition for functions as a particle of the verb longed, constituting a phrasal verb. As a result, tweaking the sentence so that the offending preposition no longer appears at the end creates an awkward construction.)

Simple fixes, right? Sure. But as this Blasphemer™ said above, ending a sentence with (or stranding) a preposition is neither faulty nor improper. My point of view has historical precedence. According to legend, Winston Churchill was once corrected by an overzealous copyeditor for sticking a pesky preposition at the end of sentence. Winnie’s response: “This is the sort of thing up with which I will not put.” His quip illustrates just how stilted, clumsy, obscure, or even pompous a sentence can be made to sound in order to avoid marooning a preposition.

Indeed, prevailing wisdom says it’s perfectly appropriate to strand a preposition (and the list of references below have my back on this). It’s even preferable, given the above examples. So if you find yourself finishing a sentence with a to, for, from, or with, ask yourself, “Is the sentence smooth? Is its meaning clear? Does it sound natural?” Answer yes, yes, and yes, and you’ve seen the light.

So go ahead—forsake your obedience to the 11^th Commandment, end a sentence with a preposition, and join me and grammar nerds everywhere in an exciting life of sin.

References:

• Common Errors in English Usage. Paul Brians (William, James and Company, 2nd Edition, 2008)
• The Grammar Bible. Michael Strumpf and Auriel Douglas (Henry Holt and Company, 2004)
• Guide to Grammar and Style, Jack Lynch, Rutgers University

Thanks for reading. See you next week with more curious morsels of grammar goodness. (OK, that sounds yucky. Sorry.)

Reports to: President Managing Partner

Experience: 8+ years

At HL2, we face our challenges in all sorts of unique ways. Sometimes we do advertising. Sometimes we do websites. Sometimes we dress up employees in costumes and set things on fire (in a safe, non-threatening manner, of course). Regardless of the unique solutions we create, one thing is certain: we’re always talking, always collaborating, and, most importantly, always having more than a little fun along the way.

We consider our creative department our heart and soul. And for the Executive Creative Director, the head of the creative department, and our creative visionary at the very highest level, the task is immense: leading teams, mentoring, relating with clients, possessing a saint-like commitment level, and, most importantly, making the work better. This position requires the capabilities to not just manage, but lead and enhance the efforts of the creative directors, art directors, writers, designers, information architects, interactive designers, and artists. Therefore, the candidate must have a well-rounded understanding of conceptual strategy, brainstorm facilitation, and the ability to pitch—and win—high-level presentations. If you can check all these boxes, we’d like to meet you—and we’re guessing you smell pretty terrific.

Skills and Qualifications:

• Eight-plus years of professional experience in a leadership role at a creative services organization.
• Strong creative and conceptual vision for marketing assignments, and the ability to execute high-quality integrated communication solutions against strategic business objectives as stated in a creative brief.
• Successful experiences working with and selling work to clients at the highest level.
• Ability to direct creative teams including creative directors, designers, art directors, information architects, and writers.

Position closes July 30, 2010

Reports to: Creative Director

Experience: 6+ years

At HL2, we face our challenges in all sorts of unique ways. Sometimes we do advertising. Sometimes we do websites. Sometimes we dress up employees in costumes and set things on fire (in a safe, non-threatening manner, of course). Regardless of the unique solutions we create, one thing is certain: we’re always talking, always collaborating, and, most importantly, always having more than a little fun along the way.

As an Associate Creative Director, you will be responsible for the big ideas—and the execution of creative—in all kinds of spaces. In addition to being a great talent and team player, you should have the ability to think cross-platform, develop concepts and designs, partner with other creatives, and collaborate, collaborate, collaborate. And when you’re not doing that, you’re providing clear direction, motivating, and mentoring creative teams. You’re also staying on top of emerging technologies and trends, and, overall, you’re contributing ideas, expertise, and new business acumen as part of an integrated, multidiscipline agency team. In short, you’re going to be busy. Way too busy for re-runs of “The Parkers.” But, really, you should be fine with that.

Skills and Qualifications:

• Six-plus years of professional experience across all channels.
• Strong creative and conceptual vision for marketing assignments, and the ability to execute high-quality integrated communication solutions against strategic business objectives as stated in a creative brief.
• Successful experiences working with and selling work to clients.
• Ability to direct creative teams including designers, art directors, information architects, and writers.

Position closes July 30, 2010

Reports to: VP, Program Management

Experience: 8+ years

At HL2, we face our challenges in all sorts of unique ways. Sometimes we do advertising. Sometimes we do websites. Sometimes we dress up employees in costumes and set things on fire (in a safe, non-threatening manner, of course). Regardless of the unique solutions we create, one thing is certain: we’re always talking, always collaborating, and, most importantly, always having more than a little fun along the way.

In order to deliver our creative digital goodness, we need solid program managers—leaders who understand things like display media campaigns, large consumer-facing or internal websites, and meaningful analytics, and have an affinity for budgets, margins, schedules, resourcing, quality, team building and, most of all, communication. The Senior Program Manager works closely with all teams at HL2, including account management, strategic planning, user experience, creative, development, media, and analytics. How does that sound to you? Good? Good. Do you need anything else? No? Good. Do you own a Segway? No? Thank god.

Roles and Responsibilities

• Proactively manage all aspects of the project: scope, risks, schedule, budget, quality, profitability, communication, and team and client relationships on a daily basis.
• Manage and deliver large web projects on-time and on-budget and at expected quality.
• Manage projects and teams to profit.
• Work with account managers to build relationships with clients through solid execution, key project information, and day-to-day project management.
• Oversee the development of all project deliverables and ensure they meet internal and client expectations prior to delivery.
• Support project teams in professional development and career mentoring.
• Contribute to new business with new and existing accounts by working with account managers and new business cross-discipline teams to create winning proposals and RFP responses.
• Prepare and maintain project documentation, such as project schedules, budget estimates, status reports, statements of work, and change orders.
• Conduct project system setup, ongoing project financial analysis, time and expense approval, internal and external weekly status reports, project resourcing, project extranets, and client invoicing approval.
• Work directly with the Director of Program Management to help manage group and agency processes.

Qualifications

• Eight-plus years in project management  in a creative agency
• Mentor or management experience
• Digital experience required

Job closes July 30, 2010

• Mow the lawn
• Pick up the dry cleaning
• T-ball game at 4:00 Saturday

But today, lists are evolving—a mini-revolution unfolding to show mom in control and at the helm.

Most lists begin with household responsibilities. Divided and shared, the chore list publically displays who does what, when. And, mom manages the list—splitting the tasks not only with her spouse, but also with her kids. Generally on display in the kitchen, the chore chart illustrates the dominant role lists play in U.S. households and the way moms utilize lists to ensure the household runs smoothly.

Moms also employ lists to extensively plan—especially when it comes to shopping. Meals outlined, coupons cut, and a detailed shopping list made, modern moms head to the grocery store determined to stay on budget. Many modern moms report that if an item doesn’t make their list, they aren’t going to buy it. And the numbers prove it. Splurge and impulse purchases are on a rapid decline in grocery aisles across the country, dropping more than 20 percent from 2007 to 2009 (Source: IRI, October 2009).

Strict adherence to the “list” extends beyond the grocery store to one other important area: mom’s inclusion of herself. Mom has (finally!) prioritized herself, adding her own name to the list of “things to be taken care of.” This addition might be the most important of all because it shows a definite shift in the family dynamic. Mom readily and willingly sacrifices a lot for her family, but today she recognizes she will be able to do and accomplish more if she is taken care of, too.

And so, a revolution begins—with mom writing the lists and leading the charge.

So what does it all mean? Here’s HL2’s list of things to keep in mind. (Think of it as a jumpstart to your personal list revolution!)

• Motherhood doesn’t define a woman. Communications should speak to moms as the woman she is, not just her status as caretaker. Today’s moms prioritize themselves as women—motherhood is just one facet of the equation.
• Consider targeting a larger audience with household products. With dad and the kids taking a more active role in household responsibilities as a result of the public chore chart, it is likely their role in the purchase of household products will also increase. Get ahead of the curve!
• Get on the shopping list! Whether you represent a necessity or nice-to-have, shopping lists define what purchases are made, and which are avoided. Getting your brand or product on the list will translate to a more streamlined purchase path in store, likely leading to more conversions at the register.

—Tracey Budden, Account Planner

Thoughts from the creator:

“I wanted to make a shmup game (my favorite one is this) that had the look of being drawn by hand. At the time I was reading a lot about programming for games and using the  game loop model for programming. Obviously, I haven’t gotten very far in terms of goals/enemies yet, but look at how fast the ship is going! And how about all those bullets!”

_bob

This week; The Semi-Misunderstood Semicolon.

I assume most of you know what a semicolon (;) is and where it’s located on the keyboard or touch screen. Most of you also know how it functions in modern-day communications: as the wink in a happy-faced emoticon, right? Yep, Mr. Semicolon is the Captain to Ms. Close Parenthesis’s Tennille. But here’s a little-known fact: the semicolon is actually a punctuation mark that has practical applications in our myriad writings. If that sounds like I’m insulting your intelligence, I’m sorry. It’s just that until he recently found work as one-half (appropriate since the prefix “semi-” means “half”) of the ol’ wink ’n’ smile, the semicolon had long been neglected—even misused.

It’s a story that somewhat mirrors the life of Captain Daryl Dragon. Once a master yachtsman and a helmsman of his own Carnival® cruise ship, the Captain had his life forever altered when his prank-pulling first mate stirred some PCP into his morning coffee. With PCP onboard, the Captain determined he could get to Jamaica faster by steaming his Carnival® cruiser clear through a small Caribbean island occupied by a Sandals® resort instead of going around it. He beached the ship, of course, and had to be forcibly removed from its bridge. (During the melee, the Captain was heard to say, “Don’t tase me, bro!” a full 25 years before it entered the national lexicon.) Later, the Captain emerged from his angel dust-fueled rampage in the empty Sandals® lounge. Drinking Chablis straight from the box, the now-unemployed Captain, well-known for plying more romantic waters with a few tickles of the ivories, stumbled over to the vacant piano to console himself with a melody.

Arriving early to knock back a few Tropical Breeze® daiquiris prior to her nightly torture fest of torch songs in the Sandals® lounge (where sandals aren’t allowed after 6 p.m.), singer Toni Tennille heard the Captain pounding out a rough but delightfully saccharine melody—the very one that would soon crystallize into the song “Love Will Keep Us Together.” And that is when Capt. Dragon and Toni Tennille consummated pop music’s greatest union as Captain and Tennille.

Unlike the Captain, however, the semicolon prefers not to be a lounge act with the close parenthesis; he simply wants to punctuate sentences—nothing more. But before we can grant him his wish, we must remind ourselves of the semicolon’s proper use. Let the following rules and their corresponding examples guide you.

Use a semicolon to join two independent clauses not joined by a coordinating conjunction. Further, from the Associated Press Stylebook: “…use the semicolon [within a sentence] to indicate a greater separation of thought and information than a comma can convey but less than the separation that a period implies.” For example:

On account of the idiotic yachting hat he always wore while banging on the piano, Daryl Dragon drew the nickname “Captain Keyboard” from the Beach Boys’ Mike Love; because of his penchant for drinking rum excessively and vomiting on women as he serenaded them with “I Get Around,” Mike Love got the nickname “Captain Morgan” from Daryl Dragon.

Besides joining two independent clauses, the semicolon also comes in handy within a sentence containing phrases with other internal punctuation, such as commas. For example:

The Captain shipwrecked his music career following an incident on the Santa Monica Pier involving Alka-Seltzer®, bread, and an unruly audience of seagulls. His career is survived by his wife, Toni Tennille of Long Beach, Calif.; son, Captain Jr. of Daytona Beach, Fla.; drinking buddy, Mike Love of Malibu, Calif.; 341 dorky yachtsman hats; AM radio; and millions of discarded LP records polluting America’s landfills, thrift stores, and rummage sales.

View the complete ranked list.

Welcome to Grammar Snacks, bite-size morsels of delicious grammar goodness served up semimonthly for your edification and amusement. Join us every fortnight as we dish up tips for correcting common errors in grammar and word usage, defects in style, and anything related to the way we write—all of which comes with a large side of humor (what, you didn’t think English grammar could be funny?). In this era of texts, tweets, emoticons, and bullet points, we must not overlook writing well for the sake of haste and brevity.

This week’s snack: Affect vs. Effect

When I was a child, my parents ceased thinking of my brother and me (me, not I, mind you) as two separate beings. I don’t know if it was out of exasperation, confusion or efficiency, but they fused us into the conjoined identity of “the boys.” No longer Joe and Pat, we were “the boys” (e.g., “Boys, get in here!” “Boys, go outside!” “Boys, come to dinner, NOW!”). For the rest of our childhood and well into adulthood, we were one and the same—or at the very least mistaken for the other (even though we were two years apart and I was better looking). You can imagine that neither of us was happy with the arrangement—it was bad enough we had to share a room. We knew the distinction and we often engaged our fists to differentiate ourselves from one another.

You probably know where this missive is headed. When it comes to writing, we regularly group words together that have even less reason associating with one another than two unhappy brothers. This week, we explore two words who want nothing more than to be understood on their own terms, and we’re going to separate them as best we can. This miserable duo is affect and effect.

If you confuse affect and effect, don’t feel badly. They have a tendency to complicate matters. One of the problems, besides the obvious similar spellings, is that they both function as nouns and verbs—though one is more commonly used as a verb and the other, a noun.

Most common uses of affect/effect:

Affect is a verb meaning to “influence,” “produce an effect” and less commonly to “make a show of,” “feign” or “impress.” Did you catch that first part—“produce an effect”? That’s right; when you affect something, you cause an effect. Effect is a noun meaning “what is produced by a cause,” “a result,” “a consequence of an action.”

Less-common uses of affect/effect:

As I said above, affect can be a noun and its homophone, effect, a verb. The noun form of affect means “feeling,” “emotion” or “an expressed or observed emotional response” and is generally used by psychiatrists and social scientists—or so I read. Meanwhile, effect, the verb, means “to create.”

Perhaps the following example will give you a better idea of how affect and effect play together in the context of a sentence.

In an effort to effect (verb) change in this country, President Obama has proposed sweeping healthcare reforms; the effects (noun) of which will affect (verb) millions of Americans and perhaps leave some with a happy affect (noun).

Learn to use affect and effect properly and you’ll do a lot more than make yourself look smart. You’ll give two similar words the gift of their own identities.

Listen to our copywriter, Andrew Gall, read from his new title Everything Is Better with a Gorilla—and enjoy an evening of appetizers, drinks, and assorted great ape-themed goodness.

There will be books on sale for the low price of $11 (cash or check only, please).

Join us on Friday, June 18th, at the HL2 office beginning at 6 p.m.